EFT

Last night I attended my first yoga class in five years. Before I got married and had children I used to practice Iyengar yoga at a studio across the street from my office and I LOVED it. After those 60 minutes of yoga practice I would always feel as if someone had pushed the reset button on my brain. I would be calm, peaceful, joyous – not to mention, fit.

Before last night’s class I felt nervous about how I would do. After all my body has gone through an incredible transformation in 4 years.  It went through 2 pregnancies and births and 40 is waiting for me right around the corner. So, I tapped.

“Even though I think I’m fat and I’ve hated my body for a long time now, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”

“Even though I know I will see women in the yoga class who will be much fitter than I and I’ll feel jealous, I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself”

“Even though I know I won’t be able to do the poses like I used to and I probably have lost all my flexibility and I’ll feel uncomfortable and inadequate, I choose to feel, calm, peaceful and enjoy my yoga practice anyway”

I did this in the car before I went into the community center where the class was being held. 15 minutes into the yoga class I was really surprised at how much flexibility I’ve maintained. I can still grab my toes doing standing forward bend which I think is amazing considering the kangaroo pouch I am still sporting and the 40 pounds of extra weight I’m carrying.

There were some poses that I definitely could not do as easily. Especially any pose that engages the hips. My hips bones have been forever transformed but considering the gymnastics they performed to carry and push out two babies that’s to be expected.

More than anything I felt a deep sense of sadness that I haven’t taken care of my body better in the last 5 years and that ever since I had my kids I just don’t make enough of an effort to take time out for myself. I’ve realized NO ONE is going to look out for me. Not even my husband who loves me deeply. If I don’t ask for what I need he will not spontaneously offer it.

I intend to continue going to yoga class twice a week. It is the perfect tool to add to my EFT practice.

EFT