Author Archive
Falling Off The EFT Wagon
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I’m by nature a very impatient person. Especially when it comes to seeing results from self help techniques. This is why when it comes to EFT I have been on the wagon and off the wagon more times than I can count.
As I talk about in my EFT and the “One Minute Miracle” post my experiences with meridian tapping have yielded inconsistent results and I have yet to figure out why. I never completely quit practicing because I’m sort of like a gambler. The fact that one time out of 20 I hit a jackpot keeps me coming back for more.
The last month or so I fell off the wagon again. Both my kids got sick with a nasty cold and then my husband and I caught it as well. I’ve also been working on a couple of freelance projects trying to bring in some income. It’s slow going and that’s frustrating (note first sentence of this post). Finances are so tight they squeak.
On top of that there are some rumors going around my husband’s company that layoff’s may be coming in the next couple of weeks which has us REALLY on edge. We just got here. Moved over 3,000 miles to another country for my husband’s job. If he loses it what will we do? Would we go back to the States where there are no jobs? Would we stick around here in Canada to see what else he can get?
With this much going on I often avoid EFT because doing setup statements and a whole round of tapping – even though it only takes a couple of minutes – feels too overwhelming. When this happens I refer back to one of my favorite books Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine . I especially like the “Three Thumps”, the “Crown Pull” and the “Separating Heaven & Earth” techniques. They require no setup statements, no focusing on issues, no real effort except for breathing.
I try to remember to run through these techniques at least first thing in the morning and a couple of other times throughout the day. They help me feel grounded and more in control. I have also noticed that since I’ve been doing them I no longer feel symptoms of depression. I’m not sure if that’s a cumulative effect of all the tapping that I have done in the last 3 months or if it’s from using these protocols alone.
So, am I back on the wagon? Well, sort of. I’m not giving up on energy medicine. I may deviate from EFT protocols to try other things but I will always do some sort of energy practice. Even if it’s just for 30 seconds a day. I know in the end my life will be better for it.
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Bad Mom Syndrome
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Yesterday I had my first call with an EFT practitioner who has kindly offered his services at no charge in exchange for the practice hours he needs to get his certification. It’s a little scary bearing your soul to a stranger – even while remaining mostly anonymous - but in my case it was well worth it.
This first call was a “getting to know you” call where we discussed what we might want to focus our sessions on. The practitioner, I’ll call him Joe for the sake of anonymity, had a lengthy background in the medical field before starting with EFT which puts me at ease. He’s probably seen just about every misery of the human condition at some point in his career. He was also very empathetic and has a sense of humor which is a huge plus in my book.
The first round of tapping was around my feelings of inadequacy as a stay at home mom. The two main themes being resentment and guilt. You see, staying at home with my children was never my choice. It was thrust upon me by the current circumstances:
- I’m unable to work in Canada until I receive permanent residency, which as my experience with the immigration process dictates can be quite some time down the road.
- I had to give up a home based business due to my inability to get work done while tending to two children under the age of 4.
And since I didn’t choose this life I wholly resent living it which of course brings on the guilt in droves. My internal voice goes something like this:
- What kind of mother doesn’t enjoy taking care of her children? Shouldn’t mothering be my biggest joy, my reason for living?
- What kind of mother would rather work on the computer than play with her children?
- What kind of mother can’t seem to go a day without yelling at her 3 1/2 year old because he won’t eat?
- What kind of mother looks forward to the kids going to sleep so she can finally have some time to herself?
I’ll tell you what kind….. a BAD MOTHER.
It’s irritating to realize that the same things I resented my own mother for when I was growing up - her emotional unavailability, her complete focus on her business, her constant distractedness – I’m clearly repeating. Maybe it’s all her fault that I never learned how to be a good mother. Wouldn’t that be convenient to have no responsibility at all for any of this? : )
We started out doing Gary Craig’s “Movie Technique“. I had never tried this before. We focused on an event which encapsulated one of my failures as a mother “My child won’t eat. And I yell at him”. After a few rounds of tapping I felt calm, relaxed and almost elated. Later in the day when my son wouldn’t eat again the situation didn’t have any emotional charge for me. I saw it as almost humorous.
In future posts I’ll share more insights from that first call. I fully recommend anyone dabbling with EFT or any energy psychology method to do a session with a skilled practitioner. See my post Great Places to Find an EFT Practitioner or visit the EFT Links page.
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YouTube EFT
Posted by: | CommentsHere are my favorite YouTube EFT videos. I will add more as I find them. For more tap along resources visit my EFT Links page where I list a number of EFT downloads and courses.
Brad Yates
Robert Smith
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New Year, New Attitude
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Image by lolodoc via Flickr
2009 was one of the hardest years of my life. So much went wrong it seemed as though life was seriously out to get me. Looking back with a fresh perspective I can see that was not the case at all. Yes, some major things went very badly but there were also many blessings and even a few miracles.
I decided my intention this year is to be happy no matter what. This make take some practice… Ok.. a complete lobotomy, perhaps. 2010 will be my year of going with the flow and choosing to be happy exactly where I stand – not when I lose those 30 pounds, or when I make a ton of money or even when I’m the perfect Mom and wife. What made the last year so excruciatingly painful was my inability to take things as they were happening and making the most of them. No, I fought and complained and steadfastly refused to relax into them.
This year I intend to turn all the negatives into positives. To find the silver lining. To find the blessing in everything that happens. I intend to change my perspective from being a victim (all things happen to me and I can’t do anything about them) to being empowered. I’m not naive enough to think I’ll be able to control everything that happens in my life but I AM in full control of how I choose to react when they happen.
So, no resolutions or goals to beat myself up with. Only an intention to relax and flow with each moment. And tap, tap, tap when I feel myself fighting, struggling and complaining.
Happy New Year to all of you!
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EFT Tapping for Endometriosis
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On a previous post (Tapping for Female Issues) I covered the idea of tapping for period pain. That was exactly a month ago so…. guess what I want to write about again today?
It is apparent that my Endometriosis is actually getting worse. I am having more pain mid-cycle and the intensity of the pain during that special time of the month seems to also be getting worse. As usual general tapping – such as tapping for pain in general – does not seem to be working. I need a script that will target Endo specifically. Even with the abundance of free content, videos and EFT scripts on the web, finding material that focuses on tapping for Endometriosis has proven to be more elusive that I expected.
Following is a script that I created to help with my Endo pain:
Eventhough I have this intense pain in my abdomen I deeply and profoundly love, accept and forgive myself.
Eventhough I have this excrutiating, sharp pain in my gut and my lower back, I deeply and completely love, accept and forgive my body.
Eventhough I’m angry because my pain seems to be getting worse and nothing helps, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
Eventhough I feel totally uncomfortable in my body; it aches, it hurts, it’s bloated and it’s sensitive to noise, I choose to feel calm and peaceful anyway.
Eventhough my husband doesn’t have a clue how horrible I feel and his comments only make me want to choke him, I deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself and my husband.
Eyebrow: This sharp pain in my abdomen
Side of eye: I can’t stand this pain
Under eye: It just keeps getting worse
Under nose: My body is betraying me
Chin: Why is this pain back?
Collarbone: Wasn’t it supposed to go away after I had children?
Under arm: That was a load of crap!
Top of head: This endo is a curse. I must have really pissed someone off in a past life.
Eyebrow: This pain is so intense
Side of eye: But it’s getting better
Under eye: The pain is not there ALL the time
Under nose: I have moments when the pain is not there and I can choose to focus on those moments.
Chin: This Endo is trying to tell me something. I wonder what it is?
Collarbone: Maybe my body is telling me to slow down and be nicer to it
Under arm: Maybe my body is telling me it needs more love and less criticism
Top of Head: I choose to listen to my body and send it love
Eyebrow: I’m never going to be rid of this Endo
Side of eye: Yes I will
Under Eye: No I won’t
Under nose: I was fine for a long time. I had no pain
Chin: I can choose to be kinder to myself, even with this pain
Collarbone: I deserve to feel comfortable and at ease in my body
Under arm: My body is cleasing itself and it’s all a natural process
Top of head: I now choose to feel calm, peaceful and comfortable in my body.
This and some extra strength Advil did the trick. I hope that next month I can do without the Advil and keep myself pain free using only EFT.
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Tapping for Overwhelm
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Monday mornings are typically a tough time for most people. The weekend is over and now it’s back to work – whatever your work may be. For me it’s the switch between having my husband home to share in the child minding duties and keep me company to being alone with my kids taking care of them, taking care of the house, taking care of our finances etc. etc. ad infinitum. All of it is incredibly overwhelming. Of course to someone not going through a depression it’s probably not that big a deal but to me it feels as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I am just not up to the task of carrying it.
Luckily, Rick Wilkes and Carol Look just released a fr*ee new podcast on their Tap Talk Radio website on the topic of overwhelm and it is excellent. You may download it here: Overwhelm Podcast Audio . It brought down my overwhelm enough for me to be able to write this post. I definitely have more tapping to do to bring it down to a zero.
So I created a script for overwhelm that I want to share:
Even though everything seems so overwhelming and I don’t even know where to start, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I feel like everyone else copes with life just fine but I am weak and can’t seem to cope with what needs doing in my life, I choose to be calm and accept what I’m feeling.
Even though I resent having so much to do. My work is never done. It never stops. I never get it done. And I just don’t have the energy to deal with it all, I choose to be calm, confident and peaceful.
Even though I’m failing as a human being and that means that I don’t deserve love or abundance or anything good to happen in my life, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
Eyebrow: I am so overwhelmed
Side of eye: I have too much to do
Under eye: and I don’t feel like doing any of it
Under nose: I am so overwhelmed!
Chin: Why do I have to do all this?
Collarbone: I am soooo overwhelmed!
Under arm: I can’t imagine how I’m going to get it all done
Top of head: I’m useless. I can’t get anything done.
Positive Round:
Eyebrow: I feel so overwhelmed
Side of eye: but it’s Ok
Under eye: What’s the worse that can happen?
Under nose: I won’t be put in jail for not doing the dishes or vacuuming the carpet
Chin: I can take my time. It doesn’t all have to be done right this second
Collarbone: I can be kind to myself and allow myself some time to get my bearings
Under arm: And then nothing will seem so overwhelming
Top of head: I am quite capable of getting everything done and I find easy and fun ways to get it all done. I am alright.
Welcome! Does EFT Really Work?
Posted by: | CommentsWelcome to EFTventure.com! I created this site to answer that often asked question: “Does EFT really work?” Within these pages I intend to document my experiences with Meridian Tapping and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). Most of the EFT sites on the web today are from Practitioners or groups that promote EFT. This site is written by a regular person who wants to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about Tapping. Think of it as a living, breathing science experiment.
If you are scrunching your eyes and cocking your head to one side at the mention of EFT, go to the “What is EFT” page. There you will find a definition of the term and a cool video which better explains it.
For those of you looking for EFT resources such as training, books and support forums visit the “EFT Links” page. This page is a work in progress. As I continue to find new resources I will add them here. If you would like to share your favorite resources feel free to Contact Me or add it to the comments.
And if you want to know more about the woman behind EFTventure go to the “About Me” page. Also, you may follow me on Twitter and subscribe to receive updates of this blog by email by entering your email address in the box on the right. Don’t worry, I hate spam more than anyone and promise never, ever to spam you.
Thank you for stopping by and I hope to see you again soon.
Tapping Tyro
Great Places to Find an EFT Practitioner
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This will be a quick post to share with you a few places you can go to find an EFT or Tapping practitioner.
- Emofree.Com – Gary Craig’s site in the best place to find the largest listing of EFT practitioners that I have found on the web.
- Tapping Central – Patricia Carrington’s website has listings for practitioners that have earned the EFT Certificate Of Completion (EFT-CC) and/or
the EFT Certificate Of Completion (EFT-ADV) - MTT Pro Network.Com – Meridian Tapping Techniques encompasses TFT (Thought Field Therapy or Callahan Techniques®), EFT® (Emotional Freedom Technique or Emotional Freedom Techniques), Pro-ER (Progressive Emotional Release), NET (Neuro Emotional Technique®), and WHEE (Whole Health – Easily and Effectively®) among others. On this site you can find practitioners from all those disciplines.
- EFT Founding Masters – These are certified EFT practitioners, therapists, trainers and coaches. Many of them no longer offer one on one sessions but offer books and other do it yourself resources.
As for me, the search for an EFT practitioner that is willing to assist me on a pro bono basis has yielded a couple of possible options. I will update here once I’ve chosen a practitioner.
If anyone has another list or directory that you think should be added to this post feel free to put it in the comments.
Finding Help
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After coming to the realization that I am definitely suffering from depression the search for help has begun.
It was suggested to me by a friend on a women’s forum I belong to, that I should first rule out a physiological reason for my symptoms. Endocrine malfunctions – such as overactive/underactive thyroid or adrenal glands – could cause most of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing.
As I’ve just moved into this city, I had to search for a new Family Doctor. I’ve learned much about the Canadian medical system this week that I did not know before. Mainly that the Family Doctor or General Practitioner (GP) is the gatekeeper for all other medical personnel and finding a good, qualified GP in my area is somewhat of a holy grail. There is a huge shortage of Family Doctors in this city.
Luckily, a woman who had babysat my children for awhile when I was still running my business talked to her GP and got me an appointment. I will be seeing him next week and requesting that he run every possible blood test to see where all my levels are. Once I get those results I’ll have a better idea of what to do next and perhaps get a referral to a specialist and/or medication.
In the meantime, I am also looking for an EFT practitioner that can help get me started on my Personal Peace Process. I intuitively know that left to my own devices I will never get to it. I have too many events on that list that I’d rather poke my own eye out with a stick than to re -experience them. In short, I can’t do this alone.
Unfortunately, now when I most need the help of a professional is when I can least afford it. We are barely getting by as it is. There is just no room on the budget for $60-$120 an hour counseling sessions. I am not letting that stop me from getting the help I need. I’ve written posts on several EFT online community forums and my hope is that someone will be willing to take me on pro bono. We’ll see how that goes.
I am still tapping on my own as often as I am able. Something is bound to work. I refuse to accept the status quo as my “new normal”. My husband and children deserve better. I deserve better.
Could it be Postpartum Depression?
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Last night I had to run out to the store to pick up some milk and while there I also picked up a copy of the December issue of Island Parent. In it I found an article titled: “Postpartum Depression’s Effect on the Family”. All of the sudden I started feeling bells ringing. Well.. not literally but there was a definite feeling of Eureka! This could be it!
I’m not sure why I had not considered postpartum depression (PPD) before now. After the birth of my first child, who is now a little over 3 years old , I went through a bout of postpartum depression and was even prescribed an antidepressant by my gynecologist (Effexor) which I never took because I was scared of it’s potential side effects. A few months after being diagnosed the depression lifted on it’s own and I just went on with my life not thinking much more about it.
I think what has tripped me up this time from recognizing my current state of mind as postpartum depression is the fact that my youngest is nearly 14 months old. With my first-born PPD reared it’s ugly head around three months postpartum and it lifted before the baby was a year old. This time around there was so much commotion after the birth of my child (a separation from my husband, a bankruptcy, a move to another country, problems with immigration and on and on) that I convinced myself those were the reasons that I didn’t feel like myself. Now, I’m starting to realize that the high stress from all those events has probably made the PPD linger much longer this time around.
Here’s a list of symptoms of PPD:
Feelings:
persistent low mood – Check!
inadequacy, failure, hopelessness, helplessness – Check! Especially the inadequacy part.
exhaustion, emptiness, sadness, tearfulness – Check!
guilt, shame, worthlessness – Check!
confusion, anxiety, and panic – Oh, a BIG Check!
fear for the baby and of the baby – Hmm… not so much
fear of being alone or going out – Not so much fear but just can’t be bothered to go out. It always seems like an overwhelming hassle.
Behaviors:
lack of interest or pleasure in usual activities – Check!
insomnia or excessive sleep, nightmares – Thankfully I’ve been sleeping well. Still feel tired all the time, though.
not eating or overeating – Overeating. A big Check!
decreased energy and motivation – Check!
withdrawal from social contact – Check! But masked by the fact that I don’t know a lot of people in my new city yet.
poor self-care – Check! Need to really force myself to do simple things like shower and brush my teeth.
inability to cope with routine tasks – Big Check! See my earlier post about Housework.
Thoughts:
inability to think clearly and make decisions – Check! Yesterday I spent more than 10 minutes trying to decide which brand of milk to buy.
lack of concentration and poor memory – Check!
running away from everything – Check! Definitely the desire to run away is there all the time.
fear of being rejected by partner – Check! I’m afraid he’ll get sick of my bad mood and my complete lack of interest in sex.
worry about harm or death to partner or baby – Thank God I can honestly say that I haven’t had this symptom.
ideas about suicide – Again, thankfully I have not had these feelings either
I think it’s pretty safe to assume I’m on the right track here. I also think I may be on the tail end of this since I was actually able to recognize the symptoms while just a few days ago I was so consumed by them that I concluded that I’m just a bad mother, a lazy person and a crap wife. I consider this progress.
Now what? Should I see a doctor? From my experience a doctor while likely try to medicate me again. While I know that medication has been a life saver for other women with PPD and I do not stand in judgement of that whatsoever, I am personally not comfortable with that solution.
I need to ask for help and I will. All the EFT tapping that I’ve been doing thus far only seems to placate the symptoms for a while. I need a complete healing from this. Stay tuned.
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The Depression-Gratitude Vicious Cycle
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Law of attraction proponents say that the vibrational energy of gratitude is the highest magnetic frequency to pull what you want into your life. They suggest everyone keep a gratitude journal and write everyday what they are grateful for in the their lives.
Here’s the rub. When you are suffering from depression finding anything to feel grateful for takes a Herculean effort. You get caught in a vicious circle; you find nothing in your life to feel grateful for and then you feel ashamed for being ungrateful which makes you even more depressed. If gratitude is the highest kind of energy then shame and guilt are undoubtedly the lowest.
I know rationally that there are many things in my life that are good, even great. My children are gorgeous and healthy. I have a loving and patient husband. We live in a beautiful area. We have food in the refrigerator and a roof over our heads.
Unfortunately the feeling of gratitude escapes me in my current state of mind. I reach for it but I can’t seem to find it. When that happens the little gremlins in the back of my mind start screaming at me: You ungrateful wretch! You take everything for granted. You don’t deserve what you have because you don’t appreciate it. There are others much worse off than you are. How dare you feel sorry for yourself when you have so much!? … and on and on. Sometimes when I try to do that gratitude journal exercise I end up feeling more defeated and beat up than before I began.
YouTube, the video search engine, has become a great resource for me. There are many EFT practitioners who have posted free tap along videos on the site. One of the most popular experts is Brad Yates. His YouTube nickname is eftwizard. Here is a great tap along video by Brad on the subject of gratitude:
He also has a membership site which I’ll add to the EFT Links page. In the site he has hundreds of tap along audios and teleclasses. I’ve signed on for a trial membership which only costs $1.00! That’s a bargain. Can’t wait to check out all the great content. Want to check it out yourself? Join the Magnificent Tappers Club!
EFT and the "One Minute Miracle"
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When I first learned about EFT I was amazed by all the stories about people who have been suffering for years from phobias, anxiety and depression that were completely healed after a few rounds of EFT tapping. These stories are generally referred to as “One Minute Miracles”. You can read many of these stories in Gary Craig’s emofree.com website and they are truly impressive.
Me… I am definitely not a “One Minute Miracle”. This weekend I was wondering why that might be and how to get over the anger at myself and – let’s face it – the envy I feel when I read about people suffering from very similar issues as myself getting instant healing while my progress seems to be VERY slow.
I found this great free audio from my favorite EFT experts Carol Look and Rick Wilkes on this topic (Click here to listen to the audio). It really helped me become at peace with my own progress (or lackthereof) and gave me the motivation to continue.
As far as the Personal Peace Procedure I intended to follow (read my previous post), it has been very difficult to get started. I completed my list of past stressful events but I’m avoiding focusing on any one event like the plague. I yearn for some quiet, a few uninterrupted hours that I can dedicate to knocking things off this list but… Did I mention I have two children under the age of 4 and a husband and a house to look after?
I concede that lack of time has not been the only reason for my reluctance. Frankly, I just don’t want to go back to those yucky moments from my past. I’m tapping on my fear of being overwhelmed and freaked out as we speak.
Eventhough I’m not doing what I said I was going to do and what I know will help me heal, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eventhough I’m afraid that if I focus on the hurtful events from my past I will become overwhelmed and my depression will get worse, I choose to feel calm and confident.
Eventhough I am pissed off that I have to go back and deal with all the crap from my past while other people get one minute miracles and get healed instantly, I choose to accept and honor all of my feelings.
Eyebrow: I am angry at myself for flaking out of the Personal Peace Procedure.
Side of Eye: I don’t have time to go back and deal with all the crap from my past.
Under Eye: Why do I have to even do that?
Nose: Why can’t I be one of those people who gets healed instantly?
Chin: I’m obviously too screwed up.
Collarbone: I’m much more screwed up than they are.
Under Arm: I will never be healed.
Head: I will be depressed, broke and miserable all my life.
Eyebrow: No. I won’t.
Side of Eye: If other people can get healed so can I.
Under Eye: We are all One anyway.
Nose: I’m strong enough to face my past.
Chin: I survived it all to begin with, didn’t I.
Collarbone: I forgive myself for thinking I’m too weak to do this.
Under Arm: I am strong beyond belief.
Top of Head: I deserve the best of everything in life and I will do whatever it takes to make it happen.
Ok.. so I did experience a miracle just now. I no longer feel overwhelmed. I will make the time to tackle the Personal Peace Procedure this week.
Personal Peace (?) Procedure
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Today is Thanksgiving day in the US. My extended family is getting together to celebrate and my kids, husband and I will not be there. I’m sad. I’m disappointed and.. well… I’m a little pissed off.
As someone who has been using EFT for quite sometime, I can’t help but feel that things should be different for me than they are today – they should be better. We shouldn’t have had to file for bankruptcy and move to another country away from our friends and family. I shouldn’t be this fat. I shouldn’t be this depressed. Today, a day when just about everyone I know is sitting down in front of a nice meal to express their gratitude and appreciation, I feel neither of those things. I feel cheated.
It’s apparent to me that what I’m doing is not working. I’m tapping and tapping but something is blocking my well being from manifesting. I’ve read that this is when you should reach out and ask for help from a skilled practitioner. Unfortunately, I don’t have the financial resources to be able to afford to do that. There are many practitioners that are willing to discount their fees but I can’t even afford their discounted rates.
Before you think that this is some sort of pity party let me move on to the real focus of this post. Faced with the ineffectiveness of my own treatments but not being able to afford the help of a professional, I think I am ready to do some deeper work.
One of the things that attracted me to EFT so many years ago was the ability to do tapping on a stressful emotion and have it dissipate without having to dwell on what brought on the feeling in the first place. And for a while that was enough. I experienced some great shifts and things were good for a while. I have, however, hit a rough patch that no amount of tapping seems to be shifting. I’m stuck.
After doing a lot of reading about what could be causing this stall (actually, this regression) in my road to abundance and healing, I have concluded that shallow EFT is not going to do it. I need to go deeper.
On one of the audios on the Tapping Insiders Club site, Loretta Sparks introduced me to the Personal Peace Procedure. The basic premise of this technique is for a person to make a list of all the stressful events in his/her life – as many as can be remembered – and then revisit those events and do tapping on the feelings that come up. Gary Craig explains the technique here: Personal Peace Procedure.
I’ve spent the last 3 days on a not so pleasant trip down memory lane looking at old pictures, reading old journals, doing anything that would jog my memory. So far I’ve come up with 64 events – from my earliest memories to the present day – that I still have some strong negative feelings about. These events run the gamut from silly but embarrassing moments all the way up to major, traumatic events.
This process feels anything but peaceful so far. For years I successfully avoided thinking about most of the events on my list. However, intuitively I know that those events are very much active in my energy system and that clearing them will be what finally breaks me free from this rut.
To prevent myself from becoming completely overwhelmed, I plan to tap on no more than 2 events from my list daily; starting with the earliest ones since those are the ones I have avoided thinking about the longest. My goal is to hopefully be done with my list by New Years eve and start 2010 with a clean energetic slate.
Wish me luck on my journey.
Tapping for Female Issues
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**Warning – For any men out there who may read this post and squirm about the “girl stuff” subject matter… tough! Get over it!
I’m a bit cranky. In fact, my husband is avoiding me like the plague and my children are walking around me cautiously so as to not inadvertently set me off. Unfortunately, this is a monthly occurrence.
I am talking about “the curse”, “Aunt Flo”, “the monthly gift”, “my friend”. Don’t you love those nicknames for that time of month that women should not even talk about. Well, here it is. I am “on the rag”, “riding the cotton pony” and “the painters are in”.
Historically, every month around this time I am NOT fun to be around. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis right after college although I suspect, judging by my awful periods, I had it long before that. The pain was severe and it would render me useless for at least 5 days out of the month. My prospects were dim. I was told I would never have children and that I could expect this problem to get progressively worse.
Thankfully, a very skillful surgeon was able to remove most of the problem causing tissue and my periods got a lot better. I no longer broke up with my boyfriend once a month and later on was able to have two children. Pretty amazing!
Having said that, my periods are still no piece of cake. I am no longer handicapped by the pain to the point that I have to take to my bed but it can interfere with my life and my plans quite effectively. I am irritable and unhappy. I am quick to anger. In short, you best stay away from me.
When I started learning about Law of Attraction I wondered how this time of the month, and it’s related yucky low vibrations, had on my ability to attract good stuff to my life. I research my favorite resources and I found a great script in one of Carol Look’s newsletters. Here it is from issue #6:
“EFT SETUP PHRASES:
The EFT SETUP Phrases for this topic are as follows:
While tapping the karate chop spot on either hand, repeat these phrases out loud, (or change the words to fit your exact situation).
“Even though my pain is very distracting, I deeply and completely accept my feelings and who I am.”
“Even though it’s impossible to focus on joy when I feel so much pain, I choose to accept that this is how I’m feeling.”
“Even though my pain is debilitating, I’m willing to consider changing my vibration now.”
I have indicated where to tap while saying each of the phrases below. You may repeat the positive round more than once if you wish. (Those of you who are new to EFT may view a chart of the spots on my web site under the EFT pages.)
***Now for the phrases that focus on the problem***
Eyebrow: “My pain is so distracting.”
Side of Eye: “I can’t focus on anything else.”
Under Eye: “My pain really has my full attention.”
Nose: “I don’t feel very abundant when I’m in pain.”
Chin: “I have so much pain in my body and life.”
Collarbone: “I don’t know how to change my focus.”
Under Arm: “I don’t have the energy to do anything else.”
Head: “All this pain in my body…”
***Now for the positive focus on the solution***
Eyebrow: “Even though I’m in pain, I choose to focus on relief.”
Side of Eye: “I am willing to change my focus for a minute.”
Under Eye: “I choose to remember something exciting.”
Nose: “I appreciate many things about my body.”
Chin: “I love being more positive about my life.”
Collarbone: “I have so much to be joyful about in my life.”
Under Arm: “I choose to feel joyful even though I also feel pain.”
Head: “I can distract myself from the pain with joy!”
I use this script whenever the cramps start getting bad. So far so good. My cramps seem to be getting better. I hope it’s beneficial for those of you who go through this monthly hell as well. You may also check out Carol Look’s and Rick Wilkes site Pain Relief with EFT .
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My Favorite Free Resource
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The EFT Links page on this blog is full of great resources to learn more about EFT but there is one resource that I think deserves a special mention.
Carol Look is one of my favorite EFT experts. She has a way of cutting through the crap and getting right to the guts of any issue. Her newsletter (which you can sign up for on her Attracting Abundance site) is excellent. No fluff or fillers. She takes an issue and gives you a tap along script for it. And the scripts are amazing.
Best of all her newsletter is free and she offers the archives so you can read past issues. I strongly recommend that anyone interested in getting very effective EFT scripts sign up for her newsletter.
EFT For The Reluctant Housewife
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As I mentioned previously, I recently had to give up my oldest baby – my business. In order to do the best work I can in my kind of business you need to be able to have quiet time to focus and concentrate for several hours during the work day. With 2 children under the age of 5 quiet time is nearly non-existent around here.
Before we moved to Canada, I had found the holy grail. A home daycare that was not only wonderful and safe but also inexpensive. With the eldest kid being kept happily busy for several hours a day and the youngest one being too little to require much attention my business thrived.
Then came my husband’s layoff and our move to Canada where a quality daycare (at least in my area) is incredibly expensive. Also, my youngest was now starting to walk and needing very close supervision. I concluded that whatever I earned from my business would be spent in it’s majority in daycare costs. For this reason I decided to close down my virtual business’ doors for the time being.
I knew rationally it was the right thing to do. I can focus on raising my children and keeping the house and I wouldn’t have to worry about missing deadlines or stressing out over not being able to make phone calls because my eldest is having a tantrum. Seems ideal… in theory.
Unfortunately, I have discovered that I am missing the Domestic Goddess gene. After 35 years of being a single, career minded woman finding myself a housewife now has been a very difficult transition.
Oh.. why do I hate being a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom)? Let me count the ways:
- I hate housework (see my previous post: Tapping on Housework)
- I am an unimaginative (ok.. maybe just lazy) Mom. I can never figure what to do with my children. They mainly roam the house playing with their toys.
- I miss the mental stimulation of having a business. Taking care of young children is about as monotonous as it gets.
- I am not a very skillful cook. In my previous life I ate out a lot.
- I resent my husband for going out in the world of adults while I feel stuck in the prison of my home. I could take the children out but its always a major ordeal. (Did I mention I was lazy.. maybe just depressed)
All of the above fills me with guilt and shame and I haven’t found a script that targets these issues specifically in on all my web searching. So I just made up my own:
Karate Chop: Eventhough I am an awful mother and I should be filling my children’s days with stimulating activities, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eventhough I suck at keeping house and I resent having to do it all myself, I choose to find ways to make housework fun.
Eventhough I am bored out of my mind and I should be enjoying every second with my children but I am not and that makes me feel guilty, I deeply and completely honor and accept all of my feelings anyway.
Eyebrow – I am an awful mother
Side of Eye – I am an awful housewife
Under Eye – I am an awful wife
Under Nose – I feel like my brain is shrinking
Under lip – I am so bored. I can’t stand the monotony. Everyday is the same thing over and over.
Collarbone – I should be better at this. Why can’t I enjoy this.
Under arm – Many women would kill to be able to stay home with their children
Top of head – I’m ungrateful and just a bad, bad person.
Wow! There is a LOT of emotion tied up in this conflict. I think I need to do a few more rounds.
I suspect that resolving this internal battle and releasing all the shame and guilt it brings would open me up to attract all the abundance I deserve. And since I eat when I’m stressed and depressed, resolving this issue would also help me lose weight.
Diet Coke is the Devil!
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In an effort to move towards my goal of a leaner, healthier body I decided to give up my beloved Diet Coke (or Diet Pepsi for that matter. I’m not picky). I’ve read all over the Internet about studies that have found that people who drink diet soda are more likely to gain weight and have a harder time losing weigh. They have not figured out exactly why that is but theories abound.
My love for diet soda runs long and deep. My addiction started back in college. I remember the first time I tried diet coke. I thought it tasted absolutely disgusting. Weight conscious as I was even then, I decided to substitute my 1 daily regular coke a day with 1 diet coke. In the beginning I nearly had to hold my nose while drinking it but eventually I got used to the taste and then, soon after, I started CRAVING the taste. I have never liked coffee and I found that diet soda gave me a quick boost of energy when I needed it.
Now, nearly 25 years later I have a full blown addiction to the stuff. Anytime I don’t drink diet soda for longer than 8 hours I get massive headaches. In spite of that I decided over the weekend to give up my daily fix. I want to shed these extra 30 pounds and if there’s something that I’m doing that is clearly preventing that then that needs to stop.
My last soda was Saturday evening. On Sunday I felt a bit tired and I was definitely craving it but it wasn’t too bad. I tapped as much as I could: “Eventhough I have this strong addiction to diet coke I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my body” “Eventhough I feel tired and cranky because I haven’t had my fix today, I choose to feel calm and peaceful”
Yesterday was absolute HELL. I had a horrible and debilitating headache all day. I felt depressed and irritated. To say that I had a short fuse is a major understatement. I tapped and tapped and the tapping did seem to take the edge off somewhat. I was in bed early hoping the next day would be better.
Today I feel a LOT better. I did some tapping this morning for some remaining craving. This is not the first time I’ve quit diet soda. In previous occasions the headaches lasted about a week. I credit EFT with helping my body cope with the withdrawals a lot better.
I’ll continue tapping today hoping that my body will get rid of all the toxins that created this addiction in the first place.
Resistance to tapping
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Sometimes I find that the more I need to tap the less I feel like doing it. It makes no rational sense. I do want to feel better and resolve whatever issue is bothering me. Why then do I resist the very thing that I know will help me?
My 1 year old is usually a really good sleeper unless she’s teething or having, what I suspect is, a growth spurt. Last night she was really restless and she was up at 6:00 AM this morning. I am not much of a morning person so I felt a bit like the walking dead.
I knew tapping would help me feel better, more alert, but I just could not get myself to do it. I asked myself why and the only thing I could come up with is that figuring out the right set up and tapping statements just sounded like way too much work. So I tried a technique created by two mental health professionals from Australia; Steve Wells and David Lake. They created a sub modality of EFT and called it SET (Simple Energy Techniques).
What I really like about their approach is their belief that the most important thing is to get you tapping in every possible situation. Although focusing on specific issues is a vital strategy it does not need to be the only one. When I feel overwhelmed, anxious or exhausted already the least thing I need is to feel like I HAVE yet another chore to do – my EFT tapping.
They are proponents of what they call “continual tapping”. No set up statements, no reminder phrase, just focus on your issue or concern and tap away continuously. Repetition is key. The more you tap, the more benefits you’ll reap.
It wasn’t difficult for me to focus on my issue. I felt exhausted. So I just started tapping and kept tapping on all the meridian points. It was a gradual thing but I started to feel better, more energized. Think I’ll continue with that EFT technique today.
Wells and Lake offer a short manual in pdf format explaining SET: Click Here to see it. It’s definite worth a read.
My EFT Goals
Posted by: | CommentsA few days ago I wrote a post describing where I am today. Today I want to post my goals or targets for EFT. I find that stating goals as positive affirmations gives me the most motivation. Here they are in no particular order:
I have a fit and vibrant body that I feel totally comfortable, happy and safe in.
I have more than enough money to do anything I want to do.
Sex is fun and intimate for me. I feel sexy and sexual. I have more than enough energy for sex.
I have tons of energy and feel joyous and optimistic in my life.
I can handle any challenge thrown my way with peace and confidence.
I’m really enjoying where I live and take advantage of the beautiful scenery outside.
I feel connected to my source and have a deep feeling of faith in the divine.
That is not an all inclusive list, just a starting point. I believe change in these areas would make the biggest impact in my overall sense of well being. My next posts will target one of those areas and specific tapping scripts for them. Some scripts I have made up myself. Wherever I use someone else’s script I will of course credit that person. Let the fun begin…
Tapping on Housework
Posted by: | CommentsThere are a lot of big issues in my life that need fixing; the sorry state of my finances, the 30 extra pounds I’m carrying and my complete lack of libido. All those things definitely need work but they are SO BIG. Those are complex issues with many facets to them.
Today I will tap on something a bit more manageable but equally distressing: Housework! Since I recently became a stay at home Mom it seems housework has now become my #1 job. Problem is, I deeply dislike housework. How in the world has this now become one of my main jobs in life?
Keeping things clean when one is single and in complete control of one’s surroundings is one thing. And it’s difficult enough when one has a tendency for messiness and clutter. Throw in 2 small children and a husband with the same lax attitude about cleaning up after himself in the mix and before you know it the house looks like a bomb went off in it.
At some point I will spend some time uncovering the deep seated mental programming that makes it so difficult for me to keep things tidy. However, right now what I need is a boost of positive energy so I can tackle those dishes in the sink and those old cheerios lying on the carpet.
“Even though I HATE housework and I resent that it’s my job to do it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”
“Even though it makes me totally crazy that my husband and kids get to do whatever they want and they get to relax while I have to clean dishes, I deeply and completely love and accept all my feelings about this”
“Even though I’m sick and tired of cleaning after my husband and children and it’s a job that’s NEVER finished, I choose to feel calm and peaceful anyway.”
FH – “I hate housework!”
SH – “Why do I have to do it all?”
UE – “I HATE housework”
UN – “How did I ever get stuck being responsible for cleaning the house?”
UL – “I don’t want to do it”
CB – “You can’t MAKE me do it”
UA – “I REFUSE to do it”
TH – “Let it all go to hell”And for a positive round:
FH – “I hate doing housework”
SH – “What if I could find a way to make this easy”
UE – “Maybe I could find a way to make this fun”
UN – “I love it when the house is clean and tidy”
UL – “I love it when everything smells fresh and clean”
CB – “I feel proud when the house is clean”
UA – “Having a clean house puts me in a great mood”
TH – “I choose to make cleaning fun and easy.”
Aaahhh… that’s much better. Think I’ll go scrub the toilets now.
Tapping on Staying Up Too Late
Posted by: | CommentsI am so excited about this project and having so much fun putting this site together that I’ve been going to bed way too late. That’s the tricky part about having a family. Your needs and interests usually fall to the end of the list – after hours, while everyone else is sleeping.
Tonight I am going to tap on going to bed on time… well.. at least not at 2 AM. All this will have to wait until tomorrow.
Where I am today
Posted by: | CommentsAs I begin this experiment it seems appropriate to document where I am currently in my life – physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. One of the key steps in the EFT technique is to gauge your state of well being and rate how distressed you feel about it with a number between 1 and 10 – 10 being the most upset and unhappy you could be. They call that rating the SUDS – Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale.
Physically - (8) This area needs a lot of work these days. As I mentioned in my About Me page, I am in my late 30’s (pretty darned close to 40 actually). I am generally pretty healthy but at 5′5 tall and 167 pounds I am most definitely overweight. I haven’t lost the baby weight from my last pregnancy and I haven’t had the time nor the motivation to do anything to improve matters.
I am an emotional eater and I’ve been doing a LOT of compulsive eating in the last year or so which has prevented me from shedding those extra pounds. I won’t lie. Losing this weight is one of my biggest aims since it affects everything else in my life. My libido is pretty close to non-existent (to my husband’s profound discontent). My clothes don’t fit right. I’m lethargic from carrying this extra weight and that keeps me from going out more often and doing things with my husband and children. To summarize; this extra weight needs to GO!
Financially - (9) This area of my life is a BIG mess. We filed for bankruptcy in August of this year and things have been real tight. The only reason I did not rate this area a 10 is because at least my husband has a job and is able to provide an income for the family.
I used to also bring an income into the household but had to quit to take care of my children full time. We realized that daycare costs outweighed the amount I was able to make. Losing my ability to do something with my life aside from keeping house and children has been really difficult for me. I miss the mental stimulation of my job and many times I feel that I am not cut out to be a full time Mom and wife. I suspect my feelings of depression are greatly due to this major shift in my life.
Emotionally – (8) My emotional state – especially as of late – has been quite unstable. I have my moments of clarity (especially after several rounds of tapping) but for the most part I feel depressed, overwhelmed, anxious and pretty BLAH quite a lot of the time.
Spiritually - (7) Through the years I am studied many different religions and philosophies but today I am no closer to feeling that deep feeling of faith and connection to the divine that I’ve been seeking all this time. I would love it if EFT could help me feel that spiritual connection I’ve glimpsed at briefly through the years on a more consistent basis.
Well…. from reading that… I sound like a big mess. The first step to solving any problem is acknowledging the problem, right? I think I am ready to make some big changes in my life.
The Journey Begins
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s been said that: “The best way to learn is to teach”. Considering I am not an EFT practitioner or expert I’ll change that to: “The best way to learn is to share”. My goal for this blog is to increase my own knowledge and experience with EFT by sharing them with you.
I intend to share a lot of personal and intimate details and for that reason I am using a pseudonym: Tapping Tyro. I don’t want to have to censor myself for fear of being judged by family or friends. I want to be as candid as possible and I am just too chicken to do so using my real name.
Aside from giving me a place to document and share what I find, my hope is to make this a place where anyone who is new to EFT can find the resources they need to heal themselves or to find a skilled practitioner to assist them.
I hope you enjoy the site. Please leave a comment with any suggestions you may have to make this a better place for you.
Tapping Tyro
Disclaimer – Some of the links and resources I share are affiliate links. However, that will not be the main reason I write about or promote a resource.
